It’s done, its off, my application to Clarion West is in the ether and there’s nothing else for it but a bit of the good old ‘sit back and wait’. My blog will now go back to it’s regularly scheduled programming: me talking about myself, trying to be funny, discussing books and complaining about people not being quiet enough on the quiet carriage (by the way, it’s been bad lately: what’s the use of a carriage of solitude if it is rarely respected?)
I thought that once I was done with this latest goal my brain might flatline for a while, kinda of void out after all the hard work I’d put in and I’d have a few weeks of staring blankly at the telly while I recovered. I planned to eat a lot of cookies, drink tea, maybe put on a few kilos. You know, really get into the spirit of mental recuperation.
But as I was walking to my car in the parking garage at the station yesterday, I was, for some reason, thinking about this episode of Four Corners that I watched a few weeks ago. The combination of the documentary in question and my immediate environment melded together into a little idea. Just a tiny seed, maybe with a little shoot of green peeking out of a split in the seams. But that’s enough. So instead of just sitting back and letting my brain go numb for a bit, I might instead relax and let this little idea grow. See what comes of it.
It’s reassuring to know it’s not just a fluke – that I’ve got it in me to make stories just for me, just because they are there, just because I can. I don’t need a goal or a deadline to keep writing them.
Now, if I could only find a train carriage that is endlessly silent for the forty-five minute trip home? Life would be complete.